“And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of
the revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of
Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I
besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made
perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my
infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:7-9
This is me; this is Adam, not
Paul. This is my life not his, maybe this will help you.
I prayed for it and it didn’t
work. I’ve found that there is something
that has stayed with me for quite some time, I haven’t gotten rid of it and I can’t.
I’ve prayed over and over and it still
hasn’t come and it hasn’t left. I’ve
gone through this so many times I’ve wanted to quit and even backslide for
moments, because of the torment of it.
I can’t see why it’s there,
because I can’t even see “it.” The truth is, I’ve wanted to be with someone,
that’s a God given desire, but at the same time it’s been a problem, a bigger
problem than I would like. If I could
take it away, I would, gladly, easily, quickly, but I can’t run from it,
because it’s God given. Interestingly enough, what I am about to write, I can’t
run from it either, because it’s God given.
I’ve experienced this on levels
that I never desired to nor wanted, this isn’t a one-time thing, this is often
so I know this is true, this isn’t some blog, this is my life. I have walked with God for a little while and
it’s stayed with me for just as long.
Please believe
that I have prayed every way possible for this to go. I have prayed for God to
send me someone. I have prayed for God to make me celibate. I have prayed for
God to take the desire away. I have prayed for God to kill me. I have prayed
for God to……the list goes on. I can
probably go find someone to be with, but that’s not the point, the point is Gods
will. I could easily compromise my faith, but that’s not the point of this
blog, the point is to show you the trials of “me” so you can relate it to your
trials. You see, this is what happens, every
time, sometimes it happens more than once in a week and it’s terrible.
What happens is, I will have
the urge to pray for someone and think God is gonna do it, I will believe it
and expect it and even have scriptures that I think God is using to confirm it,
so I look with anticipation. Perhaps,
even at times I think God has sent someone into my life or that I should pursue
someone. Yet, again, shortly after, I realize I’ve been lied too, it’s a
seducing spirit and immediately I am punched in the face. A seducing spirit plays off your weaknesses
and will lie to you in any way to make you fall, stumble, backslide, quit, give
up and give in. Immediately after I realize I’ve been lied to I spiral
down. You see, Paul said “I am buffeted”
that means punched. When you are in a
fight, you can do a little better when you see someone about to punch you, but
when you don’t see it, there’s a greater chance of you being hit and suffering great
injury and being knocked out. That’s
what happens with me, that’s the seducing part, right when I realize this isn’t
going to happen, I’ve been lied too, the punch comes, some people call it a “sucker
punch” you never see it coming, because its seduction. I am left with the horrible feeling of being
lied to, yet again; keep in mind this has been at least over 50 times during a 4 year walk with God. I’ve endured
this for quite some time and it’s always the same and I pray the same things, I
wonder “Lord, why is this happening, I have prayed for it to go” and I think
inwardly “I’m not even doing anything special for You, I’m not Pastoring a
Church or preaching all over the place.” “Lord, I feel like I am going around in
a circle and it won’t stop, I’ve tried everything.” “Lord, am I doing something
wrong, did I sin or something, have I caused this.” “Lord, why don’t You just
change this situation, so I can move on with my life.” “God, why do I have to
endure this, it’s not even a problem, but it’s my problem and its continually
coming back haunting me.” “Lord, I’ve said this same prayer to You hundreds of
times, I don’t know what to do.” I don’t
know why it happens, but I know this, I have literally no defense towards
this. Jesus knew how this felt; on His
way to the Cross people covered His face and were punching him. “And some began
to spit on him, and to cover his face, and to buffet him” ~ Mark
14:65. I’ve been where this is. I don’t know why I am writing this, perhaps
someone will read it and think “I’ve experienced this or I am currently experiencing
it.” When it happens I spiral down, I
don’t want to pray, I don’t want to read the Bible, I abhor and hate the
thought of being with someone, I hate what’s taking place, I hate the continual
revolving circle of this event. I hate the concept of God and I get mad at God
at times, it’s a spiraling down towards what I want to rise above and pray
earnestly to rise above. Eventually, the punch wears off and I can see again,
but I am still left with the horrible and tormenting thought that, it could
happen again within a week and like Paul, I have no defense against it, it’s a seducing spirit.
“That
I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings,
being made conformable unto his death;” ~
Philippians 3:10
_____________________________________________________________
Have you accepted Jesus Christ as
your personal Lord and Savior?
If not, here’s what you are missing.
You are missing satisfaction in life. You are missing the blessings of
God in and through your life. You are missing the blessing of being able to
know God intimately and know Him for the pardoning of your sins. You are missing the blessing of being able to
serve God and impact your community and the world around you. You are missing the beauty of God revealing
Himself to you and helping you in your daily life. You are missing out on such
great things. God wants the best for you
and His best starts with you admitting you have sinned against Him and that you
need a Savior for your sins, that Savior is Jesus Christ. Like me, will you rebel against God’s plan
and will for your life? Will you submit to Gods will so He can save you and
redirect your life? God can get you off
any drugs, any habit or addiction, nothing can stop God and God will stop at
nothing to stop it from stopping you from reaching your full potential for
Christ. God loves you so much, why wait
and why reject His message. If you want
to be saved for-real, just pray this prayer:
“Lord Jesus, I have sinned, I am a sinner, I have sinned and will sin, but I
have sinned only against You. Lord, I am in need of Your forgiveness. I believe
You died for my sins and You rose from the dead. I believe You are God and that
You have the capability to forgive me of my sins and cleanse me from my
unrighteousness. Lord, please save me and draw me to You by Your grace. Fill me
with Your Spirit. Baptize me in Your power and help me to live a lifestyle that
is pleasing in Your sight. Give me victory over temptation, Lord, strengthen me
to be all who You want me to be please in Jesus Name! AMEN!”
"God loved the world this way:
He gave his only Son so that everyone who believes in him will not die but will
have eternal life." ~ John 3:16 (God’s Word Translation)
"That
if you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart
that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved; for with the heart a
person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting
in salvation. For
the Scripture says, “Whoever believes in Him will not be [disappointed.” For
there is no distinction between Jew and Greek; for the same Lord is Lord
of all, abounding in riches for all who call on Him; for “Whoever will call on the
name of the Lord will be saved.” ~ Romans 10:9-13 (NASB)
These links may help you in your walk with Jesus Christ. I urge you to take a look at some and
remember to draw closer to God through studying His Word and praying daily for
yourself and most importantly, others.
God Bless!
[List of Bible Promises!
http://www.intouch.org/resources/gods-promises?page480=2 ]
"So then faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God."
~ Romans 10:17 (King James Version)
http://www.cbn.com/spirituallife/PrayerAndCounseling/index.aspx [Prayer
Request; Have someone online pray for you!]
"The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces
wonderful results." ~ James 5:16 (New Living Translation)
http://www.OurPrayer.org [Prayer Request; People from all over the world can
pray for YOU, simple, fast, free and beneficial.]
http://www.Bible.cc [Great site for searching through the Bible and
comparing each version, also charts, commentaries and dictionaries]
"Don’t get drunk on wine, which leads to wild living. Instead, be
filled with the Spirit." ~ Ephesians 5:18 (Gods Word Translation)
http://www.biblegateway.com [Great site for Bibles of various kinds and
various languages]
"A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the
bones." ~ Proverbs 14:30 (New International Version)
http://www.Christianword.org [Great site for prayers; affirmations,
scripture references etc.]
http://www.e-sword.net [Great site to download Bible software; commentaries,
dictionaries, maps, charts, various Bibles]
"A patient person [shows] great understanding, but a quick-tempered one
promotes foolishness." ~ Proverbs 14:29 (Holman Christian Standard Bible)
http://www.twft.org [Pastor Chuck Smith's Through The Bible audio sermons]
http://www.c28.com [Christian Clothing, etc.]
http://www.intouch.org/itrn?utm_source=ITM&utm_medium=Web&utm_campaign=Home_top_slider
[In Touch Ministries 24/7 Radio Broadcast Online; Free Streaming]
http://www.intouch.org/resources/gods-promises?page480=2 [List of Bible
Promises! (Easy to Print)]
"In the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, And his children
will have refuge." ~ Proverbs 14:26 (New American Standard Bible)
http://www.wmpress.org [FREE Christian Tracts] [Shipped to your doorstep for
free.] [Pass out, leave somewhere (school, bus stop, grocery store, mall,
shopping center, etc.), send in a Birthday, Holiday or Christmas Card; Simple
ways to plant seeds of faith in people, even without speaking.]
[ORDER FORM for WMPRESS.ORG] http://www.wmpress.org/booklet_order.php [BOOKLETS/STUDY GUIDES/ GOSPEL TRACTS
AVAILABLE TO ORDER FROM WMPRESS.ORG] http://www.wmpress.org/bksavail.shtml
http://www.intouch.org/about/in-touch-messenger/messenger-downloads
[Download 35 POWERFUL sermons from Charles Stanley in less than five minutes,
compressed ZIP FILE.] [3 Languages; Pray for the Ministry of donating, giving
and supplying these handheld devices to spread the Gospel to the remote areas
of the world and throughout the 'known' world.] [Pray!]
"For, Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be
saved." ~ Romans 10:13 (American Standard Version)
http://www.thruthebible.org/site/c.irLMKXPGLsF/b.4104233/k.BFE1/MP3_Download_of_5Year_Series.htm
[Dr. J Vernon McGee's Through The Bible 5 Year Series; Free downloads]
[THREE Great Biblical Prayers Ephesians 3:14-21, Ephesians 1:16-20 &
Colossians 1:9-14, pray them for you and others!]
http://www.biblegateway.christianbook.com [Buy Christian Bibles, great
selection of Study Bibles, commentaries, audio sermons, books, clothing, music,
gifts, art; etc.]
http://www.intouch.org/broadcast/today-on-radio [Charles Stanley's daily
radio broadcast; also clicking 'Audio Archives' can allow you to search years
back and download more of his radio broadcasts]
"I pray that the God who gives hope will fill you with much joy and
peace while you trust in him. Then your hope will overflow by the power of the
Holy Spirit." ~ Romans 15:13 (New Century Version)
http://www.intouch.org/broadcast/this-week-on-tv [Charles Stanleys 'This
Week on TV' site; clicking 'Video Archives' can allow you to search back and
find older Television shows; He also has sermon notes available on each
show/segment]
"And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured
into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." ~
Romans 5:5 (English Standard Version)
http://www.twft.com/?page=C2000 [Pastor Chuck Smiths c2000 Through The Bible
series; free downloads of book by book, verse by verse Bible study/commentary]
"May God give you more and more grace and peace as you grow in your
knowledge of God and Jesus our Lord." ~ 2 Peter 1:2 (New Living
Translation)
http://twft.com/?page=Radio.Main [Pastor Chuck Smiths Radio Broadcast; 25
minutes of study on the Word of God. c3000 edition]
[Study Bibles I suggest looking at; at CBD.com] 'Life in The Spirit Study
Bible' 'Zondervan Study Bible' Nelson KJV Study Bible' and 'ESV Study Bible.'
Christian Books; "Disciplines of The Holy Spirit" by Tan/Gregg;
"How to Listen to God" by Charles Stanley; "Living Waters"
by Pastor Chuck Smith; "Handbook for Christian Living" by Charles
Stanley;
"That I may KNOW Him" ~ Philippians 3:10
Start your day off with a Word from God; Prayer and a Song of Praise/Worship
THE ROYAL PRAYER LINE
Every Wednesday Morning
6:15 a.m. - 6:30 a.m.[EASTERN USA TIME]
Dial-in# (712) 432-1001
Access Code: 491276491#
Just Listen and Be Blessed!!!
http://www.ustream.tv/channel/royal-baptist-sunday-services [PAST SERVICES
OF ROYAL MISSIONARY BAPTIST; SUNDAY SERVICES 8 AND 11 AM; Special Events and
Bible Study as well] Enjoy!
http://royalmbc.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=58&Itemid=109
[My Churches Live Streaming; Sunday's at 8 AM & 11 AM. Wednesday Worship every Wednesday at 6:45 PM, Thursdays for Bible
Study 7 PM; Enjoy, there IS a Word from The LORD!]
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